That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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