Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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