I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
