you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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