I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The adults are the big ones right?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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