just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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