my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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