White coat. Heels.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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