I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
