drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize