At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
