is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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