I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
