Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he was CRYING into my vagina
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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