Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
