So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize