ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
