You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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