your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My vagina just recognized that song.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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