16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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