Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
