Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I checked into jail on foursquare
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
