Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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