The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
ttyl tear gas
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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