is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Is it because I queefed?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
