Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
