you guys were way drunker than both of me
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
