$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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