I wanna bring you to show and tell
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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