The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
