I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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