it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize