Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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