theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
