How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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