I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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