how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
