return my video game
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
