Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
