Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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