You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
