To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
