Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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