I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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