I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we're making bets on your personal life
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
