Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
