I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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