In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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