i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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