drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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