I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
