I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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