What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Someone shattered a urinal.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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