For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
