ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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