you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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