This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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