you're like a bully in the Christmas story
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
