do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Jerry, you need to find god
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize