Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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