Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
false alarm. still invincible.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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