Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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