I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
