Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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