made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
