i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
